My most difficult farewells are for the family I’m leaving
behind in Canberra.
(L-R: Dad, Gertraut, Tim, Josie, Dave)
One of the best pieces of child-rearing advice I heard was
“never do anything for them that they can possibly do for themselves”. The
great thing about this is that I can move to Sydney knowing that my kids know
how to look after themselves properly. They’ve been doing their own laundry
since they started high school. They have both been running their own bank
accounts and credit cards for some time now.
We’ve had a roster system for the cooking and other
household chores. At first they would take turns being ‘chef’s assistant’ and
as the ‘chef’ I taught them how to plan a meal and cook a good variety of healthy
food. Once they’d learned to cook they started being ‘chef’ themselves with me
or Dave assisting. Josie has taken a real interest in cooking and nutrition –
in fact she’s planning to do a degree in nutrition starting next year after she
finishes her photography degree
I had to say my farewells to Josie last week, as she has
driven to Adelaide for a photography conference and a friend’s hen’s night. She
has developed a fondness for long-distance driving that scares the pants off me
and Dave.
Tim drove us to the bus station today for the trip to
Sydney, and we said goodbye today. Tim’s usually pretty flippant and light
hearted but he surprised me a bit today by being quite emotional – not teary,
but more expressive than is customary for him.
When I reflect on it, I am quite surprised by how different
my relationship is with the two kids. We’ve done our very best to treat them
both equally, but though equals, they’re definitely not the same.
Tim has inherited my geekiness and we generally connect on a
very technical level. He’s doing Computer Science honours at University and our
main topics of conversation are around programming languages, operating
systems, computer games, and smart-phone wars (Tim’s an Android fan while I’m
hooked on my iPhone).
On the other hand, whenever I need to talk about
relationships or emotions I turn to Josie. Likewise, she’ll turn to me when she
needs advice around how to deal with a friend’s behaviour.
|  |
I’m very grateful that I have such a close and loving relationship
with the kids. You’d think that would make it harder to let go but in some ways
it’s easier. I know I can rely on them to communicate daily through SMS and
Facebook, as well as by phone. I don’t know whether I’d be so sanguine if we
didn’t have all this supporting technology.
My Dad and his partner Gertraut also live in Canberra. We
usually had dinner with Dad every Sunday and with Gertraut as well once a
fortnight. They treated me and Dave to a lovely farewell dinner at one of
Canberra’s premier restaurants, Aubergine. I’d love to keep in touch with them
on Facebook too but Gertraut doesn’t even have a mobile phone! I’m hoping I’ve
persuaded Dad to sign up to Facebook at least. He called me to say goodbye this
morning and asked how to do it. I dobbed Tim in as his technical support.
Then there’s the pets, our 11 year old Labrador Gypsy and our cat Loki.I will miss having Loki sitting on my lap purring while I’m trying to type. And I’ll miss watching Gypsy tear around the house after her toys. But I won’t miss Loki’s bad habit of bringing in bizarre and unusual wildlife (like a long-eared bat and a sacred kingfisher) and releasing them alive in the house. And I won’t miss having to clean up after Gypsy.
 |  |
No comments:
Post a Comment